To learn about stress and how the STEP-UP treatment program can help.
In this lesson, you will learn about stress – why people are stressed, whether stress is a good or a bad thing, and how stress can be handled so it doesn’t get in the way of daily life. You will also learn about the STEP-UP treatment program and what to expect.
LEARN about STEP-UP!
Let’s start with a quick overview of the STEP-UP program. STEP-UP is a treatment program for kids, teens, and their families. It is designed to help with managing stress (more on this later!) and feelings of anxiety, worry, or sadness.
The STEP-UP program has two parts:
1. Video meetings
You and your parent will have video visits with your STEP-UP therapist, every week for about 12 weeks. You are probably looking at this lesson right now during a video call with your therapist! Each video visit will be about 30-45 minutes. Your parent will join each visit for at least a brief check-in, and sometimes they will join for longer. During your visits, your therapist will go through lessons on the STEP-UP website with you. Think of your therapist as your personal coach who will help make this program work FOR YOU.
2. Website lessons
All the STEP-UP lessons are posted on this website. STEP-UP consists of six lessons (this is the first one). A few of the lessons are repeated for practice. In each lesson, you will learn new information, try activities, discuss your ideas, and decide on practice for you to do on your own. You and your parent can also access the information on the website at any time.
Moving through your lessons . . .
As you go through the STEP-UP website , you’ll notice we use the same “signposts” in each lesson to guide you through. The lessons start with a GOAL to give a preview of the lesson. You will then LEARN the main idea behind the lesson, and you and your therapist will DISCUSS what you learned and share your experiences. Each lesson you will also get to TRY a new skill or activity. At the beginning of each lesson, you will REVIEW progress and will end with a PLAN for next time, with tips about how to use these skills in your daily life.
DISCUSS what is stress?
Now, let’s start learning about stress. People use the word stress in a LOT of different ways.
What do you think stress is?
Click the arrow to see what we mean by "stress."
When we say stress, we usually mean feeling worried, nervous, scared, sad, or overwhelmed. Sometimes kids describe having stressed thoughts, like, “I have SO many homework assignments; I’ll NEVER finish,” and then they might feel really overwhelmed or scared that they’ll get in trouble for not finishing their work. Other times it’s a stressed feeling in the body. For example, lots of kids and teens tell us that they get really stressed anytime they have to give a big speech or presentation—they describe having funny feelings in their stomach, sweating, and thoughts like, “Oh no, what if I mess up and everyone laughs at me?" What is stress like for you?
Does everyone feel stress?
YES! We all have daily hassles and challenges and, unfortunately, we all sometimes have to deal with difficult situations. Sometimes we get stressed because there are lots of little things that build up, sometimes it’s a big problem, and sometimes its big and little things piling up at once. Even fun things – like starting a new sport – can feel stressful. When people get stressed, they may feel nervous and wound up, or they might feel overwhelmed and worn down. These are both normal reactions. Even though we all feel stress differently, and about different things, the thing that ALL people have in common is that we ALL feel stressed sometimes.
Can stress ever be helpful?
YES! Even though stress can feel bad sometimes, it serves a very important purpose. It may surprise you, but stress feelings can help keep us safe and happy. Feeling bad can be a clue that something is wrong and needs to be fixed or changed. For example, if you touch a hot stove, you feel pain. Your body jumps in to protect you and sends a signal: “Hey! OUCH! Don’t just sit there with your hand on the stove! DO something!” We don’t think of pain as a good thing, but that pain is the signal to remove our hand from the stove – so the bad feeling is useful. Feeling stressed is the same kind of clue. It’s a message that you need to check out a situation and be ready to do something.
What if we feel stressed even over little things?
Sometimes alarms go off for no big reason. This can be because of a FALSE ALARM or a having a very sensitive alarm system -- like when the theft alarm goes off when a shopping cart whangs into a car. No one is stealing the car -- the alarm is just a warning that the owner should quickly check it out and make sure everything is OK (and turn off the alarm!). Sometimes our stress responses can be like that, too. We might feel upset or freaked out over little things. In our next lesson, we will teach you relaxation skills that can help turn off a false alarm.
Here’s the take home message. Stress is a your body’s natural alarm system, designed to keep you safe. But, sometimes it can be a false alarm . . .
Shark!
Shark?
Baby shark?
Nope.
Goldfish.
Ooops.
DISCUSS avoid or approach?
Stress is our personal alarm system that something might be wrong. But, what should we do when that alarm bell is ringing?
Imagine that someone is stressed about a math test they have tomorrow. They haven’t studied yet, their stomach feels like it’s full of wiggly worms, and they are worried about doing poorly.
Talk with your therapist about this situation.
Could the person be sick?
Maybe. Belly pain is a symptom of some illnesses, but it also is a common stress feeling. Does the person also have a fever? Are other people around them sick with the same symptoms? If so, then being sick is a real possibility. But, in this case, it sounds like the stomachache goes along with worry -- and that sounds like a stressed out body.
If this is a stress response, is it a "false alarm"?
Not really? In this case, the person in the example really does have a test, hasn't studied, and might actually do poorly. This test sounds like a "hot stove" situation, not a false alarm. There's a clear stressful situation here, and the stress alarm is signaling its time for action.
Should they stay home from school?
What do you think? This might solve the problem of feeling stressed today, but does it actually make the test go away? AVOIDING dealing with stressful situations is like hitting the snooze button on an alarm clock. It might buy you a few extra moments of rest, but it doesn’t change that it’s morning. Plus, avoiding stressful situations like a test can have it's own negative consequences, like getting behind in math class and then worrying even more.
What else could they do?
In this example, our person is probably better off choosing to approach the situation and deal with it. Starting to study, asking a parent for help with the material, talking with the teacher about their concerns – these are all good action steps to approach and solve the problem. Stressful feelings here are a message to get moving and get prepared. When they have tackled the situation (in this case by studying and taking the test), the feelings of stress should go away. But, if they avoid the situation, the feelings of stress are likely to stick around and get worse.
Is avoiding stressful situations always a bad idea?
Nope. Avoidance can sometimes keep us safe. For example, if a kid is really allergic to peanuts, they definitely shouldn’t eat a candy bar that contains peanuts. Similarly, if we were taking a walk in the woods and we saw a big snake, we should stay away from it, right? But if something isn’t immediately physically dangerous, and we’re avoiding it because we feel worried, nervous, scared, stressed, overwhelmed, or upset about it, that might cause a problem in the long term. Avoiding something because of how we feel can cause our problems to pile up over time.
PLAN for next time
We covered a lot today! Remember that it will be important to keep track of your mood and see what kinds of things affect your mood and stress. This will help us plan activities a little later in the Step-Up program. Here are some sheets that will help with that:
You can also use a phone, journal, or calendar app. How would you like to keep track? Come up with a specific plan with your therapist about how you will rate and record your mood each day, so you can talk about it in your lesson next week.
